Priests are Human too
Matthew Rudolph is the co-founder of Chrism Priest, a ministry dedicated to provided integrated formation and care to Catholic Priests.
by MATTHEW RUDOLF
A friend of mine said these words to me after refecting on a difficult situation he helped a priest through. He continued to comment on the countless demands placed on priests. As a Church, we can have unrealistic expectations for clergy, assuming that they are equipped, healthy, and holy because they are wearing a collar.
Priests are human too, and they need support in living out a thriving priesthood, integrating all aspects of God’s human design—body, mind, and soul.
I recently facilitated a cohort of priests, and each member of the group shared about his own experience of formation in seminary. Across the board, these men felt well prepared for the priesthood intellectually and spiritually, but they identified a tremendous gap in the practical aspects of human formation and leadership. After acknowledging this gap, they recognized a shared experience of “imposter syndrome” which began shortly after they were ordained.
““I was unprepared for the transition out of seminary and into the realities of the priesthood,” one priest said.
Another interjected, “The reality of the priesthood was nothing like I expected it to be.”
The conversation went deeper. One priest made the discovery that the lack of preparation in human formation and practical skills caused him to feel insufficient and insecure in his role as a spiritual leader. Many in the group echoed the same sentiments and recognized that this experience led them to feel alone and to become more self-reliant.
“I have to figure this out on my own,” one priest expressed.
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Most priests spend six to eight years in seminary before they are ordained. During that time, they are prepared in four areas: intellectual, spiritual, pastoral, and human formation. Until recently, most seminaries have focused the majority of their efforts on intellectual and spiritual aspects, helping men in formation to understand theology, philosophy, and liturgy. Today, most seminaries offer more hands-on pastoral and human formation. A number of them even have counselors and psychologists on staff. This is a good first step for helping future priests live a healthy, integrated life. But even with these new efforts, most seminary rectors and formators are still trying to crack the code on how to practically prepare future priests, and that solution comes too late for the current crises our already ordained priests are facing.
After a man is ordained, he is typically assigned as a parochial vicar (also known as an associate priest). He works under the direction of a pastor and is supposed to be “learning the ropes” of priestly ministry and administration from him. Until recently, most priests had several opportunities to serve under a variety of pastors and learn how to run a parish. But now we live in a time where we don’t have enough priests to cover all the parishes in a diocese, and a newly ordained priest will quickly become a pastor, taking on responsibilities for which he is not adequately prepared.
In a short period of time, self-doubt and shame begin to creep into the mind and heart of this beloved vicar of Christ. He often begins to feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and ill-equipped for his responsibilities—spiritually shepherding thousands of souls, managing a staff, and running a multimillion dollar organization. In seminary, this man had a rector, a vocations director, professors, and formators surrounding him and giving him support, accountability, and encouragement. But now that he’s out on his own, he begins to feel isolated and alone. And the devil knows it. Given the reality of the spiritual battle for souls, it’s not surprising that the devil would go the extra mile to discourage a priest. After all, it was St. John Vianney, himself often physically attacked by the enemy, who said,
“ “A priest goes to heaven or a priest goes to hell with a thousand people behind.”
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The impact of loneliness and burnout among the clergy is devastating. Our dear priests suffer. Bishops suffer. The lay faithful suffer. The mission of the Church suffers. There has to be a better way to provide support to these men who have sacrificed their lives for Christ and His Church.
My heart breaks for priests and bishops who experience this pain in their vocations, and I felt called to do something to help. Through prayer and time on my knees in Eucharistic Adoration, I was given the vision for Chrism, a ministry providing ongoing, integrated formation and support for priests, bishops, and seminarians. We launched just a few months ago, and the response has been overwhelming, filling me with tremendous hope for the future of the Church. As a result of this work, priests are being renewed in their vocations and serving their people and their parishes with more confidence, zeal, and surrender to God. We have also partnered with vocation directors and seminaries, developing curriculum and experiences that foster practical human formation focused on leadership and integration. Seminarians are being equipped early on in their formation and now have many years to practice and grow in confidence.
After ten years of coaching and mentoring clergy, I’m convinced the greatest reason priests suffer from poor mental health and burnout is that they don’t feel confident and practically equipped to lead, evangelize, and make decisions in these very confusing times. It’s not surprising that 60 percent of priests under the age of forty-five regularly experience burnout in their priesthood when they haven’t been adequately prepared for the demands ahead of them (see study results from The Catholic Project at the Catholic University of America).
Something has to change. Chrism takes a simple approach to address this problem and provides an integrated approach that addresses human formation and leadership, mental health and healing, and spiritual health and renewal. Here’s what the process looks like:
“God-Knowledge —> Self-Knowledge —> Self-Possession —> Self-Gift
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Each man who feels the call to the priesthood desires to give of himself in his vocation. But too often a priest finds himself acting as a fireman, putting out fires and reacting to the demands of the moment. In these instances, it is essential that he takes the time to slow down to remember who God is (God-knowledge) and who he is as a beloved son of God (self-knowledge). He should be encouraged to take inventory of his thoughts and feelings in the moment (self-knowledge) and choose a response (self-possession). This type of thoughtful and intentional decision-making can only take place when a man has put in the effort to grow in virtue and has invited God into the areas that need divine grace and healing. The more a priest practices this simple process, the more he is like St. Paul, who shared with the early Church “not only the gospel of God, but his very self” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). And when a man is able to consistently make a gift of his very self in his priesthood, he experiences greater confidence, freedom, and joy in his vocation.
Breaking the cycle of putting out fires is not easy, and it usually requires a priest to make an intentional commitment in order to disrupt the status quo. Getting priests together in groups for prayer, brotherhood, training, support, and accountability is a good and simple recipe for success. Chrism offers formation through peer cohorts and one-on-one coaching, which helps priests overcome isolation and loneliness. This model also gives them the space to apply the training and principles to their unique situations. Time and again, I’ve witnessed these men experience relief from their pain by being seen, known, and understood by their brother priests and a trusted advisor. Once we “stop the bleeding,” we can start building up and mentoring these men in the practical skills and formation they need in order to live a happy, healthy, holy and thriving priesthood.
Through the years, I’ve heard laypeople criticize priests for not being business-savvy or having the skills to run a large organization. Instead of getting frustrated with our spiritual fathers, I propose we walk alongside them, first recognizing their humanity. Let’s strive to be in relationship with these men and help them know they are loved and supported. When we begin with this approach, our beloved priests are better able to receive direction and ongoing formation. They recognize they don’t have to be lone rangers, and as a result, our priests feel encouraged and empowered to lead with greater confidence and apostolic boldness.
“As we tackle these problems as a Church, let us remember the important insight of my friend: “Priests are human too.”
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